My Valentine

I married the right man.

• He gives wonderful gifts. Not just to me, but to anyone. The birthday gifts he selects for the kids' friends are usually the hit of the birthday party. For Valentine's Day? This morning he gave me a book by my favorite author and the Mamapop "She's Drunk" t-shirt. Awesome.

• He thinks of lovely details. When I returned home from rehearsal late last night, I was greeted with a lovely "baking" smell. I asked him what it was: strawberry muffins for the kids' Valentine's Day breakfast. Such a nice touch. Sure, they would have happily eaten their regular breakfast cereal, but he did something special for them. Our lives are filled with his special extra touches every day.

• He supports me. His feedback on my writing is invaluable. He finds movies, books, music that he thinks I'll like and shares them with me. When I'm down, from work stress or whatever else, he knows what to say (or what not to say) to make me feel better, or at least feel justified and understood. Since he knows that singing with MVAE is important to me, he arranges his teaching schedule so I can attend all the rehearsals.

• He checks in. Even though I generally do the same thing all the time, he asks anyway. Every Tuesday, as I leave for rehearsal, he asks if I'm going out afterward (I am). He doesn't have any attachment to the answer (he doesn't mind if I go) but he wants to know when he should expect me home. We have a conversation every Sunday to check our schedules and see what kind of week we have. Is it busy? Do we have school functions? Or do we have an evening or two of down time that we don't usually have?

• He does laundry. And cleans the house. And doesn't complain (much). I read statistics of how little housework most husbands do, and I'm amazed that most women aren't as lucky as I am.

• He's an amazing father. The kids get so much attention and support and love from him. Sure, he has to do a lot of the after school nagging (do your homework! put away your backpack! where's your lunchbox?), but he also does the after school snack and helps with the homework and is quite generous with the hugs and cuddles. Fatherhood came naturally to him; when I was recovering from a c-section, he was holding the baby, walking her, comforting her, then did it again two years later with our baby boy. He held the baby to my breast when I was groggy with pain medicine. After a few nights of getting up to move the baby from the cradle to my arms for late-night feedings, he realized that our sleep would be less disrupted if the baby slept in our bed. His unselfish sharing of our space, our sleep, showed his dedication to his family. He never shied away from changing diapers; he's been an active participant in their upbringing from day one.

• Even after two kids, and the body changes that accompanied them, he still tells me I'm sexy. And he means it. To him, I'm still the slender young bride he married almost 14 years ago.

• He loves me more than I ever thought anyone would. When he fell for me, he fell hard, and I've never doubted that he's still got it bad. It's mutual, baby.

My poor husband. It's Valentine's Day and he's married to the least romantic woman in the world. But he's got romance enough for both of us, and I'm so glad he's sharing it with me.