Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Five years

Five years ago yesterday was a bad day. One of the worst.

Things were normal until I got home from my part-time job, teaching at my children's preschool. There was a message for me. I returned the call to Edie, a mom who was involved in La Leche League and Attachment Parenting International. We had children who played together, and I assumed that she was calling to set up a playdate.

I remember how gently she spoke to me. It was clear that something was very, very wrong. I was on the phone right next to the television and I remember sinking down to the floor when I comprehended the news. Our friend Christie had been in a car accident the day before and was going to die momentarily. They had delivered her baby via c-section. Edie and Allison were going to the hospital to see the baby and hopefully see Christie before it was too late.

I remember crying like I'd never cried before. On the floor, with my small children coming over to comfort me. And I recall calling the hospital to find out what was happening, being frustrated as I was switched between departments, being told she wasn't on the census, being told she was in surgery. Finally Craig taking the phone from me and explaining what was going on: she was an organ donor. She was already gone.

The rest of the night is a blur of telephone calls and emails. Since she and I were co-leaders of a parenting group, I had to inform the families involved in the group. And the national organization. And her books' co-authors.

It still doesn't always feel real to think about her not being around. My memories of her are wrapped up in strange things. Cans of Progresso chicken soup. Homemade chili. The television show "24". Her goblets that I thought were so elegant when used for water. And the wine charms that hung from her kitchen cabinet pulls. I never did dig up some of her hostas she had offered that summer, and when I look at my hostas, I regret that.

I've already written this story here, but I needed to process it again. Thanks for bearing with me.

But it's also another anniversary. Nineteen years ago I met my husband. Which is pretty great.


. . . Dallas Meow . . . . >^^< . . . said...


Kelly O said...

Oh, man. I'm so sorry.

Hot Librarian said...

Anniversaries are very tough. I'll be thinking of you today... and I'm glad you have a good memory for today as well.

Lizard Eater said...

(Wrapping my arms around you.)

Noodle said...

I've been thinking about that lately too. I always do during the first week of November.

kdiddy said...

such a sad story. hugs to you.

Trish K said...

That story is so heartwrenching. Should have been the happiest time in that family's life instead of the worst. So sorry

Kristabella said...

Sending hugs your way.

It's good that you are always remembering her, as heartwrenching as it is to think about.

Oh, The Joys said...

Thank you for writing this. In it's way, five years later, it gives permission to grief.


Amy Turn Sharp said...

I am sad here
for yr loss
The hostas really got me
we do place our memories
where we can
and sometimes they stick
take care

Amanda said...

So sorry for the pain you still feel, it's impossible to comprehend that kind of gone-too-soon tragedy.

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