The BlogHer Blues

As the sporadic nature of my posting might suggest, I've been mostly absent in the blogging community lately. Work's been busy, life's been busy, and it seems like I've lost my flair for snark. I don't remember the last time I participated in an open thread at MamaPopTalk, and I've been guilty of opening my feed reader, seeing a three-digit number in the unread posts, and marking all read.

I attended BlogHer last year, when it was held in Chicago, mainly because Chicago is an attainable trip for me. My brother and his wife live there, it's an easy train ride away, and it fit very nicely into my family's summer travel plans.

This year, however, it's in California. I can't drive to California, and I don't have the money to fly.

And now I see that a lot of the people I wanted to meet last year, but who didn't attend for varying reasons, are going to be there. And that ugly little paranoid voice inside my head tells me that they're coming this year because I'm not. (To which my mother would sensibly reply, "Um, sweetie, you're not that powerful." Which I'm not. But it does bum me out just a little that this year's conference looks to be better-attended than last year's. And that I'm going to miss it.

Anyway.

So I'm two for two in my NaBloPoMo efforts in food blogging. You can read my whiny rant about my daughter's public diss on my baking skills over here.

Not quite done with 2007

The year's not officially over, it seems, until a blogger completes this meme. I'm the last to jump in, so I won't bother linking to everyone who's already done it. Because it's pretty much everyone.

1. Where did you begin 2007?
At the house. I didn't pace myself (thank you, Jagermeister) and was in bed by 12:30. And maybe a glass got broken.

2. Did you have to go to the hospital?
Um, yeah. Because I work there.

3. Did you have any encounters with the police?
None that I can recall.

4. Where did you go on vacation?
There was a trip to West Virginia to see my cousin get married and give my parents their annual temporary custody of the kids. Then the return of the kids, along with BlogHer 2007, in Chicago. And a long weekend in Branson. Then another long weekend in Chicago, for my brother's wedding.

5. What did you purchase that was over $500?
A new washer. Does a new a/c system for the car count? Because it was way over $500.

6. Did you know anybody who got married?
Yes, my brother (and his wife) and my cousin (and her husband). And I gave some impressive coaching to a co-worker who proposed to his girlfriend on Christmas Eve.

7. What sporting events did you attend?
I don't recall any. We somehow missed the entire minor league baseball season.

8. What concerts/shows did you go to?
The Memphis Vocal Arts Ensemble's holiday concert, and I sang in their two spring concerts.

9. Where do you live now?
Downtown Memphis, Tennessee.

10. Describe your birthday:
Shared with Mothers' Day, preached a sermon in church, sang an opera concert. It was a busy day.

11. What’s the one thing you thought you would never do, but did in 2007?
Joined a gym.

12. What’s something you learned about yourself?
I like working out.

13. Any new additions to your family?
My sister-in-law and our kitten.

14. What was your best month?
That's a toss-up between July (kids out of town) and December (promotion at work).

15. What music will you remember 2007 by?
Probably the music my kids practiced, on guitar, piano, and cello. And that damn "Umbrella" song, the tune my son's hip-hop group performed their number to. Oh, and Soulja Boy.

16. Made new friends?
Yep, at BlogHer. You know who you are.

17. Favorite night out?
Huh. Not sure there is one. My kids and husband and I almost always have a great time when we go out together.

18. Any regrets?
We always have trouble budgeting our money between semesters. I wish we'd done that better.

19. What do you want to change in 2008?
I've already made some budgetary changes; I need to work on that some more.

20. Do you have a New Year’s resolution?
Not really. I've made a few attainable goals. But really, just staying as awesome as possible is the plan.

21. Be honest - did you watch American Idol?
Hells yeah!

22. Will you be happy to see 2007 go?
It was a rough year for lots of people, but it was fine by me. I think 2008's gonna be even better, though.

23. How did you end 2007?
At home, again, with suitcases packed for a trip to Florida, to be followed by a two-week business trip for me to train for my new job. My age must be catching up with me, though, because I took a nap so I could make it to midnight. And, in a staggeringly uncharacteristic move, I did not finish my glass of champagne, nor did I finish my daily glass of red wine. (And I haven't had any in 2008 yet.)

2007 in review

At the end of last year, I made a list of goals for this year. Let's see how well I did.

1. Vastly improve my cooking skills.

Not really. I've been so busy with #2 that the kitchen has been neglected. But I've sorted out a few good dishes and my palate is probably better. Oh, and I'm better at baking bread. So maybe I can get half-credit.

2. Change jobs in an upward direction.

Check!

3. Help my church develop a religious education strategy for children with disabilities.

Huh? I don't remember writing that. Definitely didn't do that.

4. Be more present when I spend time with the kids.

I'm gonna say yes on this. I think the kids would agree.

5. Do at least three catering gigs. The two I did this year went well. I can do even better next year.

Not so much. How about zero instead?

6. Keep blogging.

Obviously. I even went to BlogHer!

7. There are several things I'd like to do better: singing, being a better wife, getting more exercise, increasing my community involvement....okay. I'd like to get an iPod or MP3 player for myself.

a. just did karaoke the other night, still enjoying the afterglow
b. ask the husband on that one
c. until last month, I was doing great...and will do better in January
d. yes, I've done that
e. yes

Obviously, some of the things that I thought were really, really important this time last year have slipped in the rankings a bit.

And yes, I think you're being completely reasonable to expect an "8 things for 2008" post this week. I assure you it'll be done by Monday. Because making deadlines? Is probably on that list.

In Chicago

The last time I was in Chicago, it was July and lovely and warm. Not so much today. But we made it, and the kids are snuggled up in their beds, and all is well.

I'm kinda tired now, after nine hours on the road followed by a rehearsal dinner, so I'll have to tell you later about how we had lunch at a fireworks outlet. For $15. Total. It was awesome.

But see, I'm so dedicated to NaBloPoMo that I bothered to update, even though we've got a major family milestone going on, plus a mall next flipping door to the hotel.

Gotta go.

Read this

I can't say it better or add anything of note. Just read this.

I'm proud to say I've had a (brief, admittedly) conversation with the fantastic woman who wrote it. Are you still here? GO!

Finally

Last night, as my family sat on the lawn of the Pink Palace museum, watching Napoleon Dynamite on a really cool screen with awesome sound, surrounded by other Memphians who wanted to enjoy a nice evening's free entertainment, it came to me.

If you haven't seen the movie, you still may know the scene. Near the end of the movie, Napoleon's big dance (which, by the way, I have every intention of learning so I can join in every time the movie is on). Remember (if you've seen it) how the audience of high schoolers is silent for a moment, then erupts into thunderous applause? Applauding this sort of bizarre but also triumphant moment of total spazziness from this really awkward but dear adolescent boy?

That's how BlogHer felt.

As I've gotten sucked into the whole blogging thing, I've occasionally read posts that really resonated with me. Posts from all kinds of women with all kinds of writing talent, sharing tales of woe (of varying degrees) during high school. Of feeling excluded. Of being marginalized. Of watching, wistfully or sneeringly, those seemingly-well-adjusted popular kids who made being a teenager look easy.

And as we who were registered for BlogHer got more and more excited (and anxious) about the big event, more confessions of social anxiety, shyness, fear of not being accepted were sent out into the blogosphere. I read them and felt relief.

Each of those posts felt like Napoleon's dance. Put out there with a courageous spirit, beyond caring what anyone thought, just doing it for himself and the good of Pedro.

And the crowd went wild.

Why?

Maybe because that willingness to be a dork, to be a spaz, resonates with most people. Maybe most people felt the same way in high school: uncomfortable, misunderstood, awkward. Those who were viewed as popular, like the film's Trisha and Summer, still have moments of self-consciousness. But the lucky ones had friends like Pedro and Deb. Quirky, yes, but true and kind.

Blogging is like Napoleon dancing. I put words onto a screen and hit "publish," not knowing who's going to read those words. I don't know if the audience will applaud. And while the applause is great, it's not why I'm writing. I don't know that I'm writing for any "Pedro" in particular, or if it's more about stretching my proverbial limbs and moving with the music.

And at BlogHer we got to applaud each other, vote for Pedro, and dance together.

I emailed the following to a fellow Memphis blogger, the factual story of my BlogHer experience.

I arrived in Chicago Friday morning, via Amtrak. My brother met me at the station and whisked me onto a bus that took us to Navy Pier, and he walked me to the Grand Ballroom. I was a few minutes late and had missed the breakfast but was registered quickly enough to make it to most of the "Speed Dating for Bloggers" session. About 750 women (and a few men) were in two big circles, talking one-on-one for about a minute, then one of the circles would move. Business cards were exchanged, commonalities were noted, and online friends were recognized. I met Kvetch and Dirt to Dish and A Baby Boomer and a bunch more ladies whose faces have mostly turned into a blur of pretty. To my amazement, local blogger Lizarita was immediately to my right (she immediately recognized me from my pictures...her name tag threw me off as I thought of her as Liz but she was listed as Elizabeth). She's much prettier in real life, by the way.

Liz convinced me to attend a different session than I had intended, and I'm so glad she did. "Naked Bloggers" was not about nudity (well, a little, but not much) so much as about online identity and honesty in blogging. Heather B. spoke eloquently and well about her blogging activities, some of which almost got her evicted from an apartment. All the sessions were participatory, which gave the participants many opportunities to put faces with online handles (Sarcastic Journalist, MochaMomma, and Sarah and the Goon Squad were some that I was delighted to see).

After the session I had a chance to chat with Sarah, with whom I've corresponded online for months. We checked out the swag in the vendor area (I had brought my backpack, and was soon burdened with about 20-30 lbs. of miscellany, including five t-shirts, a bath set, flavorings for medicine, chocolate, a laptop bag, pens, a manicure kit, and about 8000 business cards) then sat down with a bunch of mamas from Maya's Mom for lunch. We found two seats at a table and I realized that I was sitting next to GingaJoy (and yes, as promised to my MamaPop ladies, I kissed her)!

After lunch, Sarah and I decided that the beer garden was a more appealing option than the next session. We downed a couple of beers, got to "officially" know each other, got a tourist to take our picture, and hurried back to the Grand Ballroom. Where I met Izzy. The three of us decided to attend a techie session on building traffic. The presentations are available online and were useful and technical. But not particularly heated or all that interesting for non-techie people.

We took a bathroom break and hightailed it to the next session: "The State of the Momosphere." I wasn't at BlogHer last year, but I've gleaned from other blogs that there was some contention between the "Mommy Bloggers" and the non-mommy bloggers. That wasn't the case this year, but the politics of monetization of blogs certainly caused a heated discussion. Catherine and Lena were fantastic panelists, and I really felt for all the panelists who had to speak after Catherine, who is astonishingly articulate. There were a few discussion threads that I never managed to comment on, like this comment that was in my head for a long time: "Most mommy bloggers are mothers of small kids, generally preschoolers. Perhaps that's a function of these moms being more likely to be home with the kids. Since nobody in my house calls me "Mommy" anymore, does that make me a "Mom-blogger" instead?" It wasn't a particularly deep or interesting comment, and by the time someone brought a microphone to my side of the room, the conversation had moved on. Other bloggers have discussed this session a great deal and I have little to add at this point.

My brother met me at Navy Pier for the cocktail party on the rooftop. Since I was staying at his apartment across town, I didn't have a chance to drop off my swag bags anywhere, but he did help me consolidate them into his backpack so neither of us was carrying 80 tons of stuff. At the party I met Lena and Mom 101 and Disorderly Conduct. And I learned this: even the highest-ranked, most-visited bloggers? They're all geeky girls, just like me. It was wonderful to be surrounded by brainy, witty women, even if it was just for a day (I only attended the first day of the conference). I can't wait until next year.

Much better thank you

After a bad Tuesday, I had a much better Wednesday, despite working 12 hours. Work was good, even kind of fun at times (I really do like my colleagues so much). We had a thunderstorm appear out of nowhere about an hour before closing time, and three different people offered to drive me home, knowing that I walk to work. Fortunately, the storm was over by the time I left, so I got my walk.

Since Craig and the kids were seeing a movie, I had the house, the tv, and the computer to myself. I made my triumphant return to MamaPopTalk for the open threads on So You Think You Can Dance AND Top Chef. The snark was succulent last night, and just what I needed after a long day.

On tap today: our department's turn to be audited, which is my specialty. I actually like the Corporation's auditors and have a good working relationship with them. And then a trip to the gym, and the outdoor showing of Napoleon Dynamite. Somehow I've got to fit a trip to Costco in there somehow, since my dogs are out of dog food and ate Milk Bones for breakfast (I don't think they minded a bit).

A BlogHer recap is coming, I promise. It's just hard to put it all in words.

Welcome bloghers!

I attended BlogHer yesterday.  And I'm writing a very short post now, just for you ladies I met there.  If you are stopping by to say hi, thanks.  Please stick around.  May I direct you to a few of my favorite posts, which are linked in the sidebar, about halfway down?

In a nutshell, I'm Kaleigh, a working mom of two.  My kids' fake names are Susie and Alex.  Susie is ten and her brother, Alex, is eight.  My husband picked the fake name Craig.  We live in downtown Memphis and are very enthusiastic in our love for our chosen hometown.

Even though I reference work in my blog's title, I almost never write about work.  You're more likely to read about my family here, or maybe some of our goofy adventures in the kitchen or in an area restaurant.  My church involvement also gets plenty of attention here, too.  

As an unapologetic fan of reality television, cheap beer, and movies, some of my pop culture sensibilities wind up here, too.  And discussions of race and class.  It's hard to ignore, being in Memphis.  I write about my friends and sometimes get meta when I'm feeling all thinky.  

But mostly I just write whatever is on my mind.  Might be political, might be the weather.  

Welcome.  I'm glad I met you in Chicago.  I look forward to visiting your blog, too.